Bringing the Joy!

At a family gathering many years ago, a quiet, distinguished man - someone's date - leaned across the table halfway through lunch and said, "You must do something with your voice!" I was in my mid-twenties and busy using my brain way more than my voice, and I wasn't sure what he meant. "It doesn't matter how. Find a way to use your voice." 

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And I did, sporadically. But it wasn't until many years later I saw how a powerful message - and a voice to carry it - can change lives.

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When my mother passed away in 2008 from colon cancer, it fell to me to speak for my family at her memorial. "None of us should be here today." I went on to explain that for decades my mother had been told by her doctors to get a routine colonoscopy. (If you don't already know, it's only recommended once every ten years for a healthy adult over forty-five... so... very infrequently.) My mother said it was too invasive. In fact she kept saying that year after year until she collapsed at home in 2005, and was given no choice. By then her cancer was in Stage 4.

 

I reminded those attending that they, like my mom, were irreplaceable...were loved... by their family, their friends and their communities. And how important it is to do this simple test, so no other daughter or son or partner has to stand up to speak, feeling so helpless, as helpless as I did.

 

But I had an offer. It was small. And it was all I had. 

"Anyone here who has a colonoscopy and lets me know... I will send you a $10 Starbucks card." 

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Everyone laughed. "I will absolutely send you a gift card. Because I love you and I'm not the only one, and I want you here much, much longer." And then we all cried, and laughed, and celebrated a woman who should have still been there. And since 2008, several people have reached out, and several people got gift cards... and several people shared that their doctors found and removed polyps during their test... polyps that can lead to cancer. And I saw, first-hand, the power of a message and a clear voice to deliver it.

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I've learned from years of speaking formally and informally, to groups of all sizes, that story is transformational. And the voice is a catalyst for that change. And you can't be timid, or thinking about how you look or what people think of you. The message is SO much more important. You have a short time; in front of an audience, with your loved ones, on this planet. Share what's important and find a way to use your voice.